Little bitch of doom.
About a week into last December my doorbell rings and it's some little Tica chick wanting me to sign a piece of paper saying that I'm okay with her opening a daycare center two doors down from me. Seeing as I'm not deaf, stupid or crazy, I had to say no. Actually, I think I laughed first and then said, "No way." She was none too pleased. Her fake-o smile was promptly replaced with the psycho sneer I would see over and over in the coming weeks. "That's fine." she said, "I'll just talk to your neighbors." If you read my blog with any regularity or happen to know me personally, you'll know I don't generally trust most people to sit the right way 'round on a toilet seat but, for reasons I still can't explain, I figured that my neighbors would blow off this ding-a-ling and her daycare center as quickly as I did. For a split second I considered running to the neighbors I know and pointing out what a HORRIBLE idea this rug-rat repository would be, especially after a few of them have been so worried about security and noise and odd cars parked on our street. It turns out that I underestimated psycho-Tica and overestimated my neighbors. She came back the next morning and rang my doorbell and when I opened up to tell her to piss off, before I could speak, she waved a handful of signed papers at me and, sneering, said, "I don't need your signature, I have your neighbors and you can't do anything about it!" I spoke to the neighbor between my house and the proposed day-care and, of course, she hadn't signed. Then I spoke to the neighbor on the other side of me. She had signed. She said she thought it would be "cute" and that the girl had told her that she might be interested in hiring one of her teenagers to teach music. The mother of twins signed because she was told that the girl would give her a discount if she sent her kids. The teacher signed because the girl assured her it would be a bi-lingual primary school. The old guy signed because she said it would be a school for 'special needs' children. Two neighbors signed because they were told that another neighbor, who had refused to sign and begged them not to sign either, had had a change of heart and signed. All in all, two thirds of the signatures were generated by Psycho-Tica's lies and the neighbor's gullibility (I'm being nice). Christmas was right around the corner and those of us who hadn't signed decided to let it be until the new year and hope this chick wouldn't be able to rent the house or would move on to terrorize some other neighborhood. I spent the next three weeks pointedly ignoring the neighbors who signed and hoping for the best. The Monday after Christmas, I realized that 'the best' wasn't going to happen: the 'Alquiler' (For Rent) sign was gone from the house two doors down and Psycho-Tica was in the front yard screeching at someone on her cell phone. My neighborhood nightmare had just begun.







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