As of December 18th, 2008, I have been here for one year. The following are some of the things I've learned in my first year in Costa Rica:
1. Just because you cannot see your bill, that does not mean it's not there. Or that they won't shut your ass off when it's 72 hours past due. Due, in part at least, to the fact that there are no real addresses here, one will occasionally not receive one's monthly utility bills. The first month we were in our house, we didn't get a water bill. Ten days into month two, our water was abruptly shut off at 7am. I was in Miami and my husband (Mr. Two-or-Three-Showers-a-Day) freaked out but managed to get it turned back on the very next morning. He went and paid the bill and then ran home and took a shower, narrowly avoiding a total germ-phobic melt-down. Now we pay the bill in the first week, whether we've gotten it yet or not. Better safe than sorry.
2. The taxi drivers suck. They will smoke with you in the car, even if you ask them not to. They will slide the seats back all the way so that you have no leg room and then refuse to slide them forward. They will not turn on the meter and then argue with you about the fare. They will get nasty if you ask them to turn the meter on if it isn't on already. They will pick you up and then ask you to get out 20 meters later because they've decided to take a call instead. They will drive you around in circles, racking up the meter knowing full well where you want to go. They will, during the holidays especially, tack an extra 1000 onto your fare and then dare you to argue the point.
3. The taxi drivers are wonderful. They will carry your crap to the door without being asked. They will show you shortcuts you never knew existed. They will chit-chat happily with you no matter how awful your Spanish or their English. They will lower the volume if they notice that you don't share they're love of Metallica. They will lower the volume if they see you trying to use your cell phone. They will tell you that you are entering a not-so-safe neighborhood and offer to wait for you if you wont' be long. One even offered to return a day later to collect the fare when she realized that I didn't have anything smaller than a 10,000.
4. Just because you're dealing with a fellow American, doesn't mean they won't try to rip you off or lie to your face. I've had this happen a couple of times. A real-estate agent, someone trying to sell me a large item at their moving sale.
5. Someone you've never met and only dealt with on a message board can incite in you the kind of folding-chair-swinging rage usually reserved for the Jerry Springer Show. Twice so far. I have decided to swear off Costa Rica message boards for the whole of 2009.
6. Costa Rica is to loonies, pervs and flakes what a pound of rotting flesh is to flies and ants. There is a very nice guy I've spoken to a couple of times while walking in the park near my house. He's been here 26 years. When I asked if he went back to the U.S. often, he just chuckled and said that wouldn't be a good idea as there would probably be a law enforcement contingent ready to meet him at the airport.
7. The baked goods are HORRIBLE. I know, I know, there are exceptions to every rule, but truly, the baked goods here are beyond awful. I can't count the number of times I've had to spit out a cookie or a brownie bought in a grocery store or even a bakery because it was as dry and flavorless as sand.
8. This place is heaven during Semana Santa. And between Christmas and New Year isn't bad either. It's quiet, traffic is at a minimum, people are calm and friendlier. My 5:30am walk is especially nice during the holidays.
9. Always expect the worst and prepare for it too. A simple trip to ICE to get a new SIM card turns into a three part, two location ordeal where I'm driven nearly to tears only to find out that they had made a mistake and the matter could have been handled over the phone. When things do go smoothly, it's so unexpected that I'm left shocked and happy and, yet, still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
10. There is no zoning to speak of. Which is why, in the next few weeks, I will be living two doors down from a day care center. The woman who decided to open the center needed the signatures of much of the neighborhood in order to open the place. Not being a mouth-breathing imbecile, I did not sign and neither did two or three others on our quiet little cul-de-sac. Several of my neighbors (the ones who worry about security and complain about noise the most) did sign. One thought it would be "cute". The day care center lady told me where I could get off for not signing. They and she are now on my list of people who I will not pee on if I find them on fire. I am considering moving to a gated community.
11. A pure-bred English Bulldog costs just as much here as it does in Miami. So much for buying local.
12. You can fly direct from Juan Santamaria Airport to Havana, Cuba. And you don't have to feel like a sneak doing it.
13. I can buy Retin-A without a prescription. This is a big deal. Huge! It's cheap too. And one day, many, many, many moons from now, when I can't smooth out the creases with Retin-A, I can move up to a chemical peel or even a little nip and tuck at a fraction of what I'd pay in the states.
14. My kid is learning Spanish. Granted, she's got a bit of a Nicaraguan accent because she converses most easily with the maid, but she's painlessly learning a second language.
15. I can afford a maid. A really good one too, who loves my kid and my animals. Best of all, she understands my profound incompetence when it comes to house work and doesn't bother telling me what she's doing because she knows I won't get it. Bless you Maria.
There are lots of other things, but I have a large hunk of Tiramisu calling my name from the fridge. I'll add more stuff another time.
All in all, 2008 was a good year. I love living here and I've made some great friends. I will continue to grumble about little things because I always have and it makes me feel better than blithely flitting about pretending that things like the waiter unwrapping my straw don't drive me batty. Maybe I'll add more photos this year and maybe I'll be too lazy. Maybe I'll write regularly and maybe I'll forget that I even have a blog and miss whole months. Who knows.
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